![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jul. 6th, 2024 12:27 pmI had huge plans to get a bunch of writing done and clean the apartment, but instead all I did was laundry and watch a video about dinosaurs.
And mess around on Tumblr a lot.
TBF, it's only like 12:30 so I still have most of the day to do things. And I'm off on Monday and Wednesday of next week, so time to do things as well. But still. . .I hate that feeling I get where I feel like if I'm not doing anything on my day off, then I'm like. . .being lazy. Since my days off aren't anywhere near each other usually, it always feels like ONE DAY to do everything. It's not. But when I get two days off at the start of the week and then have to work six days in a row it feels that way.
I requested a day of PTO for the weekend of the 19th, because I was told that a PTO day would be treated as an EXTRA day off on top of the two regular days. And I got the 20th off, which was what I requested off, but it looks like my manager just made it a regular day off instead of using the PTO. Which is gonna make me mad because the entire reason I asked for the 19th and 20th off was because I needed two days in a row to work on some writing.
I'm so tired of this omg. I know like. . .a lot of the exhaustion is just. . .stress induced, since I feel l'm just being constantly inundated with bullshit that usually doesn't even have anything to do with me but oml. (And money. Worrying about money even when I feel a little better about it than I did a few months ago)
It's hard to articulate but like. . .my anxiety and depression is rampaging atm and coupled with the ADHD that makes it hard for me to feel like I can do anything because I can't process time. . .like. . .the way I'm supposed to. And the solution for all of this probably medication? But that requires insurance which I CANNOT afford.
I want to look into Medicaid or something at some point but then I think about having to use my only days off to do something other than rest and I get irritated and it turns into a cycle.
I am going to take a nap and then. . .try to do a few sprints on something. I WANTED to get another fic done for go for gold! this month but I might also just like. . work on the longer fic I started. IDK. I will decide after the nap.
And mess around on Tumblr a lot.
TBF, it's only like 12:30 so I still have most of the day to do things. And I'm off on Monday and Wednesday of next week, so time to do things as well. But still. . .I hate that feeling I get where I feel like if I'm not doing anything on my day off, then I'm like. . .being lazy. Since my days off aren't anywhere near each other usually, it always feels like ONE DAY to do everything. It's not. But when I get two days off at the start of the week and then have to work six days in a row it feels that way.
I requested a day of PTO for the weekend of the 19th, because I was told that a PTO day would be treated as an EXTRA day off on top of the two regular days. And I got the 20th off, which was what I requested off, but it looks like my manager just made it a regular day off instead of using the PTO. Which is gonna make me mad because the entire reason I asked for the 19th and 20th off was because I needed two days in a row to work on some writing.
I'm so tired of this omg. I know like. . .a lot of the exhaustion is just. . .stress induced, since I feel l'm just being constantly inundated with bullshit that usually doesn't even have anything to do with me but oml. (And money. Worrying about money even when I feel a little better about it than I did a few months ago)
It's hard to articulate but like. . .my anxiety and depression is rampaging atm and coupled with the ADHD that makes it hard for me to feel like I can do anything because I can't process time. . .like. . .the way I'm supposed to. And the solution for all of this probably medication? But that requires insurance which I CANNOT afford.
I want to look into Medicaid or something at some point but then I think about having to use my only days off to do something other than rest and I get irritated and it turns into a cycle.
I am going to take a nap and then. . .try to do a few sprints on something. I WANTED to get another fic done for go for gold! this month but I might also just like. . work on the longer fic I started. IDK. I will decide after the nap.
